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THE PHANTOM TEACHER

By Mike Anderson

Chapter 8

THE PHANTOM TEACHER

"Halloween is great! You get to dress up crazy, get candy, and look at all the scary stuff in the stores. I mean, look at that skeleton! Halloween’s my favorite holiday!" We were walking around a department store.

Stinky said, "It’s not even a holiday. We don’t get a day off from school, do we? I do like the candy though." He pulled a really nasty looking green face over his own.

"I don’t care. It’s still my favorite. I like it better than Christmas."

About three weeks before Halloween, I started planning my costume. Third grade is the last year we get to put on our costumes at school so I think it is important to have a good one.

Stinky said he was going to be a hobo. He’s been a hobo ever since kindergarten and is pretty good at it. Tim found a really disgusting mask with green skin and fake blood running down the side. He put it on and pulled his father’s old coat over his ears so only the mask showed. When I asked him what he was supposed to be, he said, "Ugly."

I felt they were taking the easy way out. A Halloween costume should be thought about; it should be carefully put together. It should have a good reason for being chosen besides being ugly or easy.

Usually I went as someone really important. I always found out all I could about the person before I made the costume. I would ask questions and, once I learned to read, I read books.

When I was in kindergarten I dressed up as Egbert the Chuckling Chicken. Egbert had his own TV show every day. He would sing and teach me not to hit other kids. (He never said a word about pouring milk on other kids!) I learned most of the basic rules of life watching Egbert and his Barnyard Buddies. That year I dressed in a chicken suit and walked around saying, "Bawk, bawk, remember, boys and girls, always be a good egg!" All the kids said I sounded just like Egbert.

During the summer between kindergarten and first grade, my family went on vacation to Springfield, IL. We saw where Abraham Lincoln was buried, where he had lived, and even went through his house. That year I decided to be Abraham Lincoln for Halloween. I looked through all the stuff we had picked up when we were in Springfield and studied the T-shirt I had gotten with his picture on it. I made a black top hat using a coffee can, some cardboard, and black paint. That year I walked around saying, "Four score and seven years ago," whatever that meant. I knew Lincoln had said it because it was on my T-shirt. Everyone called me Mr. President and said I sounded just like Lincoln.

Between first and second grade my parents took me camping in the Rocky Mountains. In the middle of the night a bear sniffed around our tent looking for something to eat. It was scary! A lady park ranger named Pam Rogers chased the bear out of the campground by yelling and banging trashcan lids together. I figured she deserved to be my Halloween costume for saving my life. So that year I went as Ranger Pam. I walked around banging lids together because my dad wouldn’t let me say what Ranger Pam had said when she was chasing the bear. All the kids liked the bear story, but they told me the lids were giving them a headache.

As Halloween got closer my third grade costume was falling into place. I had decided to go as a person who was everything I ever wanted to be when I grew up: smart, talented, and rich because he was a teacher. I decided to be Mr. Thomas. I planned to shave the top of my head but leave some hair around the sides. I bought a fake beard at the store. At a garage sale I found a pair of glasses that looked just like Mr. Thomas’. Mom took the glass out of them so I wouldn’t ruin my eyes.

Luckily my dad had a fish tie. I took a piece of wood and made a guitar to show the talented part of Mr. Thomas. The only thing I didn’t have was what I was going to say. I started paying close attention to Mr. Thomas to see if he said anything over and over.

The first thing I noticed he seemed to say a lot was "Mike Chappel, turn around and get to work." Another phrase Mr. Thomas said was, "I see a lot of people wasting time." The closer Halloween came, the more he said it. I had found my phrase!

I started to practice. I would stand in front of the mirror, lower my voice, and say, "I see a lot of people wasting time." The words rolled around in my mouth and came out firm and strong. I felt the power of those words as I imagined kids scurrying for their seats and pencils being moved noisily across the paper. "I see a lot of people wasting time." What a line! Maybe even better than, "Bawk, bawk, remember, boys and girls, always be a good egg." I practiced for hours.

The day before Halloween Mr. Thomas said, "Boy and girls, I have to talk to the principal in the hall for a second. You keep on working, I’ll be right outside the door."

He hadn’t been gone five seconds when Stinky turned around to talk to Tim. Amy and Carrie Hill started to give each other answers on the math assignment. Work stopped.

School went on vacation until Mr. Thomas came back into the room. I looked around and saw what Mr. Thomas would have seen: kids wasting time! I knew what I had to do. I lowered my voice, and in a slow, steady tone, said, "I see a lot of people wasting time."

The room froze. Heads spun to look at the door so quickly I thought they might fall off their necks. Pencils started moving, trying to make up for lost time. The room became deathly quiet as everybody tried to figure out how Mr. Thomas could leave the room and still be there. Halloween had come to the third grade in the form of a voice without a body, a ghost in the corner: the Phantom Teacher!

Mr. Thomas chose that moment to come back into the room. He smiled at how hard everyone was working and was noticeably impressed.

"You know," he said, "there are three ways to control a class. The first is by the teacher being mean and nasty. The second is to assign a lot of work. The third is for the class to control themselves and not waste work time. I’m proud of you, you picked the right one!"

He smiled again and sat down. All the kids kept on working. Little did Mr. Thomas know there was a fourth way to control a class: the Phantom Teacher.

On Halloween I decided not to say, "I see a lot of people wasting time." I was enjoying watching everyone search the room for the way Mr. Thomas had talked without being there. I also thought they might get mad at me. I choose instead, "There are four ways to control a class." Everyone kept correcting me. I just smiled, tugged on my fake beard, and flicked my fish tie at them.


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